VIDEO: Help! Can you identify this large brown bird?

Ok, so we put up a bird feeder on our porch not too long ago.  We wanted it on the other side of our sliding doors so that we could see all the pretty little birdies as they came up and took tiny, cute little mouthfuls of seed.  We've seen starlings, meadowlarks, wrens, sparrows and even a chickadee or two!  But there's this one bird that keeps coming along and ruining it for all the other little guys.  He's big, brown, weighs about six hundred pounds and the song he makes isn't the prettiest noise in the world.  Also, we've never seen him fly, and his beak must be hidden under a thick layer of fur. 

We've tried calling Fish and Wildlife and asking what's the biggest bird in the region, and whether maybe there's a special kind of bird feeder we could get that only the little cute birds could access.  

I guess if everything else fails we'll just have to wait until the big brown bird comes back.  When he does we'll run outside with our broom and try to shoo the big bully away - we bought that birdfeed to be shared amongst all the little cuties, not hoarded by this big fat bully!

So do you know what kind of bird this is?  If so, please leave a comment below so that we can investigate it.

We think it may be some kind of large woodcock.  

Thanks!